Surprise or no?

Recently some one asked me if i was going to buy her the thing that she told me she wanted or that i was going to surprise her with something.. I told her that i was going to buy her the thing that she told me.. I am sorry, I don't dare to tell you that i will surprise you.. Simply because i feel more secure when i am buying you something that i am confident you really like it...

Sometimes i want to get people gifts without asking them or telling them.. But the truth is, I don't trust my own taste... I may get something which the other person thinks it's toally hideous but is too polite to tell me... Maybe that's the main reason why i always ask my freinds what they want for presents, be it birthdays or X'mas... I think i feel more at ease when i buy things for my friends which i know is exactly what they had been eyeing for long... Especially when some of my friends already have everyting they need... (*Hint Hint... Miss Hoo....*).. :P. To my friends: Sorry for always asking so directly what all of you want.. I have tried to listen carefully and to pay attention to the things that my friends take interest in so that at least i have an idea of what to get.
Maybe it is not in my blood.. But if i listen or pay attention to the things that fascinate my friends, i will find out that by the time i want to go buy it, it has probably been bought by my efficient friends.. haha.. Or i will forget along the way.. Some kind of friend that i am ah.. haha...

Marry christmas to all.. It would be great if singapore had snow, then we would have a white christmas... Possible?

Wow...

I went to a friend's wedding today... Very enlightening... I was part of the 'brothers' gang.. haha... Went to stay over at the groom's house the night before, followed them to pick his bride up.. Very interesting.. I always hear about people talking about the little details but i didn't know there were SO many little details.. Little little things that are very important and cannot be handled by anyone except the chosen ones...

Timing was a very important factor too... Each portion was scheduled to end at a certain timing so that the whole day would run smoothly...We reached the bride's house and braced ourselves for a 'tekan' session... Haha.. we had to eat mashmallows covered with a mixture of coffee, wasabi and vinegar.. Hmmm... Don't really know how to describe the taste.. Then the 'jie meis' of the bride passed a piece of paper that had been folded to form 3 connecting hearts and a tube of lipstick. The brother's had to put the lipstick on and cover the paper with as many kisses as possible.. HAHA.... HS went first and when he tried to apply the lipstick, i think he applied too much force and he broke the lipstick... But the brothers gamely put the lipstick and covered the paper.. Haha... Most of them had 'sausage lips' and 'blood stained' fingers after that... HAHAHAHA...It was a very funny sight...

When i was observing the entire procedure, many thoughts were running through my mind. Why do we have so many customs? What are their purposes? Yet at the same time, i am proud that we have such a rich heritage and proud of some of the customs.. Also i observed that there were really a lot of steps that had to be followed strictly..
We had buffet dinner at Ritz Carlton... First time i entered any Ritz Carlton in the world... A bit of a mountain tortoise ah... But it was VERY VERY nice.... Lovely... The staff were really friendly and ready to help at any time.. But i felt a bit awkward... Didn't feel very comfortable because i think it's a bit too posh for me... Don't really know the appropriate behaviour.. hee...

I think i better use the next few weddings i attend as learning sessions..

Today's post is a little short.. The lack of sleep due to sleeping at 3 am and waking up at 6am is kicking in... Goodnight my dears.. I have sent emails to most of you to view the photos on Yahoo photo album.. Go see k? Hee...Some of the photos are a bit weird.. I look either like a chipmunk or just plain weird... Just go see k... Anyway for those of you who have received your bonus, Enjoy it!!! For those who haven't, it's on the way k... Patience, Hee...

Goodnight... Sweet dreams

You called this efficiency?

You call this efficiency? What the hell? What is your definition?

i am an unwanted cow... I haven't gone over to the other meadow but i am already been milked for profits. What the hell... So that's how a system works... Now i know..

Don't call it a system when you don't bother about the feelings and situations of the people involved. A word of advice to ALL boses or superiors out there: When you have to make a decision that concerns a person's future, Consult the person first, ask for that person's feelings and thoughts. That's the basic courtesy you should give.. BASIC courtesy...

So frantic... no time to think...

I have so many things runnning through my mind now... I have to think about going from one place to another tmr. Then after that have to go spend the night at a friend's house who is getting married the next day. Then i have to plan what i want to wear for the day. But in between i have to rush off to the other side of singapore and rush down to the hotel, change clothes and attend the dinner... So unglam... And so very tiring...

And i just realised the sad reality as i stare at my wardrobe.. i have worn the same dress to a few occasions already.. My trusty LBD... haha... that only cost me 20 buck from This Fashion a long time ago... GOoood buy.. haha.. Anyway i still need to find a recipe for a dip for fried mozarella cheese sticks.. If any suggestions and recipes, PLEASE let me know k?... Thanx thanx...

Wanted to wash the clothes before my ma gets back from India... But don't know whether i will have the time to do so... Looking forward to her stories when she gets back.,.... Can't wait...

Goodnight dear all... Going to sleep... Hope my mind can get some rest...

Pissed off...

I feel like we have been taken for fools along many others by people who want to make it appear that their developments are greatly sought after.

We received information via sms like the 5700 other people who applied for "The Premiere" at tampines but didn't get it the first time. We were told that there was now walk in selection for the flats.

Why did i just know that this was going to happen? Was it because they didn't ask us to specify the type of flat we were applying in the application form? Did they actually know exactly how many people wanted 5-rm, how many wanted 4-rm and how many wanted 2-rm? Did they even consider the priority cases? Did they consider the amount of applicants and double it specifically according to the specific flats available or did they just take the total number of flats and double it to get the amount of people eligible for balloting?

When i checked the net, there were still many units that were not taken up.. Sigh... So much for efficiency. Never mind.. We decided to give it another shot. In the sms sent to us, they didn't state the place for the walk in selection. Maybe to some of you, it's common sense that it would be at the showflat. But for me, i was unsure whether it would be at the showflat or at HDB. So what was the next best thing i did? I called them.

Ha.. Maybe i shouldn't have. I think that phone call brought up my blood pressure and pulse rate. I called and the person on the other side of the phone said, "YA!". Can you imagine the rude shock i received? I told her i was calling about the walk in selection and again she was,"YA?"... Hmmmm... i think her dictionary is quite limited ah... Never mind, i asked her NICELY where the selection would be at and she told me, "At the showflat, of course!".
To this particular LISA, if you are unhappy, having a bad hair day or whatever, DON'T answer the phone. Don't even sit near one! The person on the other end certainly doesn't deserve or appreciate the 'polite' tone of your voice and your monosyllabic answers.

We went down to queue in hope that maybe, just maybe we could still have a chance at getting at a flat even though we knew chances were slim. When we reached there, there was a crowd at the entrance and a sign stating that there were only 56 flats left. There was a queue in the slight drizzle. I stood behind this lady who was remarking that she came down at 10 to help queue for her friend but became drenched so she went back to get a change of clothes. She told me that there were unhappiness because the people queued and when they reached the entrance, they were told that the quota for chinese owners was full. Guess what. It almost happened to us too. We also started queueing but everyone was uncertain whether the quota was full so relatives went to check whole the rest stood in line. And true enough, the quota was full.

At once, the queue shortened.... We even saw a couple that came out looking quite unhappy. Apparently they were already inside the showflat for quite a long time but because of tardiness, they were deprived of a chance to get a flat.

I am not disappointed that we didn't get the flat. Just appalled at the system that the company chose to handle the applications, ballots etc... I am sure people who had to take urgent leave, queued for ages for nothing would be furiously nodding their heads in agreement. Maybe it's a marketing ploy or something, to prove that people are really interested in the project. But making everyone run around like fools on a wild goose chase isn't very nice, don't you think?

I guess i am more interested in the transparency at how the company handled the applications. Did they consider the priority cases? When informing the people about the walk in selection, was everyone informed at the same time? Did they inform the priority cases first? Or there were some people that received the sms late due to the jam in the network?....

To me, the goverment's push for more people to get married and have children is a good thing, to prevent an aging population. But firstly, it is important to see if the situations allow it. There is really no point in encouraging more people to set up families when flats are getting smaller, closer to each other and more expensive. Will we end up like our ancestors where they lived in squatters? Or will just end up with a aging population because young couples are unwilling to have children and pack their families in small and uncomfortable spaces?

Delayed reaction....

In the phuket trip, i had a feeling of self achievement.. I finally had the guts to do something that i had been procrastinating for a very long time.. Why had i been pushing it back for such a long time? I have no idea.. guess i am afraid when people see me do it, they will say," Huh? Like that also dare to wear ah."

Ottie... I think you might have an idea of what i am talking about.. I remember on 1 occasion i told you very excitedly that i was going to get myself a set but never got down to it. Until a few months ago, i told Nana to help me order it together with some stuff she was getting for her friends. It was weird wearing so little and walking around. But i guess i could seek consolation in the fact that if the sight of me was giving people sore eyes, they will probably never see me again.

It's weird, now i am inspired to get myself a few more sets so that if i go for summer holidays again, i don't have to wear the same set for all the days... hee... So i guess i can say goodbye to 'racer-back' tan lines soon...

Why did i call this post "Delayed reaction"?

At my age, i want to go clubbing and see what is in it that interests the young and restless.. Not that i am very old now.. but you get my meaning. But now when i have the freedom and the financial ability to go, all the novelty of going has worn off my friends. Haha... That day one of the elder people in my organisation laughed at me... He joked that i was wasting my youth, so young but never been in a club or pub before. I argued that i was not interested and he asked if i had even stepped into one.. And the sad truth is nope.

So i guess that's where the delayed reaction is.. Now, I do things that people have probably lost interest in and stopped doing.. Why didn't i decide to join them when it was all the rage?

Reflecting and anticipating the future.....

Just came back from Phuket... Went back to the beautiful, secluded and soooo very exclusive world of Laguna Phuket.. Your worries get lifted off your shoulders the moment the car passes the entrance and immediately you feel you have entered a entirely different world...

Thank you!!! Thank you to you for this wonderful wedding present!! Lotsa Love!!!

Remember you told me that day at Sembawang. You said that now you had another sister? It felt very unreal to me.. hee... Please don't take this in a bad way.. Maybe i am very used to being alone.. But suddenly after you said that.. it's like my dreams of having a sibling have come true.. hee.. Hope your goose bumps are not coming out.. Anyway in short, just want to say i was very touched when you said that.. Very touched.. *Sob sob*... :) Anyway your reaction to my friends running on their back breaking heels was very cute.. haha... If you want lobang to buy shoes from online shops, just tell me k.. hee... anyway i also got a list of online shopping websites.. Haha.. It's the list that leads to Ottie calling me the devil because sending her the list will lead to her buying more stuff.. Heh heh...

Sitting at the balcony and looking at the lagoon in phuket was very calming and let me to think of many many things... I am still learning to accept the changes in my life.. I caught him looking at his finger quite a few times after Tuesday... I still catch him doing that.. hee. I think in some ways, it tells me how it important it is to him and at the same time i think he is also slowly coming to terms with the situation. But whenever i catch him glancing at his ring, it gives me a very warm and fuzzy feeling inside...

We went to swim in the sea... So fun!!! First time i swam in the sea... Was a little scary at first.. but after the initial jitters, it was amazing fun. We soaked in the sea, allowed the waves to push us and when we were filling wrinkled, went back to shore to enjoy our coconuts. We were covered by waves on 2 occasions.. hee. The waves broke above our heads and there was no escaping. I even swallowed a mouthful of sea water as I tried to gasp for air. haha.. What an experience.. Life should be like that... Haha... I could easily be addicted to that kind of life..

Wore the ring on my third finger as it was a little loose and i didn't want to lose it in the middle of the sea, that would be my GREATEST nightmare... His ring is so tight he has difficulty removing it on his own and i had to help him.. Something I said while helping him remove the ring is still stuck in my head.
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I told him," I put this ring on your finger and I shall be the only one to remove it."
Think this statement to me is very important.. Hopefully it is of equal importance to him. Think the situations surrounding a person can add to his/her paranoia.
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We went for a spa on the second day.. I think it was a very new experience for him as this was the first time he was going for a spa.. It was very amusing watching him. Think the lady doing for him must have thought that he was insane.. He kept laughing! After a while, when the lady was about to massage his legs, she would steal a look at his face and i could see a smile forming on her face as she knew that the moment she applied pressure, he would laugh.. Haha..
But i think the massage we had in our rooms was more bearable for him. Maybe because the lady applied more strength, so it didn't feel that ticklish for him


We had our breakfast of biscuits and nutella every morning while sitting at the balcony and facing the lagoon.. Sitting there, i couldn't help reflecting on the events that took place on Tuesday.. If someone told me i was able to turn back time to Tuesday, i think i would choose not to take the option. Both of us felt that apart from us overlooking to provide tea and coffee after the meal, there was nothing that we regretted and wanted to change even if we had the chance.

It's amazing, isn't it?It seems like a long time has passed but in fact, it hasn't even been a week...
We sat at the balcony and decided to discuss our future. But then we realised that we couldn't discuss much as nothing is confirmed. But we both know that our next trip will prob be a long way down the road.. Our next target is to get our degree...

Oh no... studying coming up... think my brains are a little rusty... Hopefully i can catch up.

Think this post is a little confusing.. there are no clear links between each paragraph. Lots of thoughts in my head that are rushing to come out.. Hope no one is confused.

Read Ottie's blog and saw the pics... Very nice!!! erh... but got photo, i think my arm looks fat... ARGHHHHH!!!!... Oh no!... i think after all the eating and slacking in phuket, it is going to look fatter!! AHHHHH!!!! Oh no!!! Must go run liao.... :P

Anyway i am going to sleep.. have to go collect the cd rom from the shop tomorrow and shall tell you if the photos are good k... Goodnight dear all! Sleep tight and sweet dreams!!

Perfect....

The day has come to an end.... After a long period of preparation, from the decoration hunt in Bangkok even though we had no specific theme to the numerous visits to the venue to discuss with Mr Lim.. It was almost perfect.. Why i say almost? Everything that we could control went very well but the weather was slightly cloudy.. In fact it was drizzling as we were saying our vows.. Looking back at it, although it made my dress a little patchy with the rain drops, i must say it was very romantic.. Almost like those fairytales or korean dramas where serious stuff always take place in the rain... HAAHA.....

Both of us woke up early today.. He woke up early to go down to the place to decorate it.. The place was lovely! I must say i was very impressed.. Every idea that we had came beautifully together... I woke up to get my face and hair done.. I admit.. It was very shiok to just sit there and let someone help you be pretty.. haha..Lazy pig ah?

At first we were a bit worried that our guests would not make it in time for the ceremony to be held before the rain came down on us.. But we made it in the nick on time.. In fact, i think we started the entire thing probably a minute or two around 11... No one was late!! Amazing ah!
Taking photos was quite awkward,.. Haha.. i think the photographer was about to give up.. haha.. Because i couldn't really do all those weird poses.. i ended laughing or blinking my eyes at the wrong times..

But taking photos with Ottie, Nana and Shirl was totally different.. hee.. Maybe coz there were more people in the picture, more people to share the 'spotlight'... All those Plan A and Plan Bs were so much fun! I think we must have looked like a bunch of insane 'camera sluts' as my dear Ottie would put it.. Haha.. Send me all those photos k?

He looked quite good today.. Different from all the other times when he was in jeans and the 'same' tees.. haha... Today i think i can use the word 'suave' on him.. Haha.. Maybe it's just me or the fake lashes obstructing my eye sight! Haha... :P

In all, I may be addressed differently from now but i hope to be still the same old me.. If i do change, please shout in my face to stop k? But if i am changing for the better, please also tell me la... Haha... Goodnight everyone... Going phuket tomorrow lo.....

Lastly THANK YOU to everyone who helped to make this day possible.. Whether by helping with decor ideas, listening to me complain, supporting the relationship, expressing your well wishes in all forms, going down to help with decor early in the morning or by simply just turning up on time.. THANK YOU!

Lotsa love!!... hee... Spread the love k...

Tell me...

I am feeling unwanted again... I thought the migration date was confirmed...But it seems i was wrong, very wrong..No one knows.. And i don't know who else i can ask already.. So now i will just have to wait and see how it goes..

Was very disappointed yesterday...The results of the ballot were out yesterday... Feel that it was a bit weird that during application, we were not asked to state the type of flat we were interested in.. So i think that if they used the total number of flats and multiplied to get the number of applicants to choose, won't it be not accurate? After all wouldn't they have more of a certain type of flats? How are they going to know what type of flat the applicants want if it was required to be stated on the application form? I think my anger and frustration was radiating over msn... haha.. right?
But both you and him said almost the same thing in different ways.. You said," Everything happens for a reason." He said," Maybe it's a good thing that we didn't get the ballot or not we might have a burden that we may struggle to carry.." Well.... I am crossing my fingers that it will be as both of you say.. I shall try my best to be optimistic that something better will come along..

Bonus is coming!... Yipppeee!!! More money... More savings... Can make myself a new pair of contact lenses... Should i get a pair of coloured lens just for the fun of it? Don't have to worry about not having enough money to get prezzies for people.. Anyway i am on for NYE.. Shall we play monopoly? haha... Can we have the roast beef again?... Yum yum.. the fat that melts in the mouth.. Sinful but damn good... hee... Do you want to do pot luck instead? Looking forward to the end of the year..I love christmas even though i don't really celebrate... But it's a good excuse to meet up with friends.. But sometimes i wished we could have snow in singapore then it would be even better.. Could it be possible to snow in Singapore?...

Do you dare?

I want a bit more.... Just a bit more... I know that i am not supposed to be greedy.. I know that there are a lot of people out there that are worse off...

But sometimes i just wish i had more... Is that too much?

I told him recently i wished i had more money... Why? Not to spend on material things or make myself feel good... i was just thinking out loud... The rich are able to try any venture that they want because they are still able to survive if that particular venture fail.. However for the average joe, when deciding on a particular idea, he has to consider all consequences and end results... There are only 2 outcomes... Make it or Break it...

If i were to have an idea for a venture.. i would be very apprehensive... If it fails, will i ever be able to pick myself up from there... Of course, i could try to be optimistic and say that this could be my lucky break...

Sometimes the idea is there but when you don't take action to work on it and you watch someone else succeed in it, you might end up looking back and say," i should have worked on it immediately after i had the idea."

So do you dare to work at fulfilling your dreams if you know that average results are not an option? You have to make it or break it...

Freaky...

It's very freaky.... After publishing the previous post, i went to read the Sunday times... And when i came to the horoscopes section, it seemed like it was answering the questions on my previous post... It said something along the lines of this," You don't have to know exactly where you are going. Just know that you have 1 foot on the path and you will arrive there before you realize it."

Freaky.

Please lead me onto the right path......

I have dreams, we have dreams...

I have started with the baby steps but where do i go from here? Who do I ask for advice? How do I go and look for such 'lobangs'? Should I go to a school and proceed from there or just wait till the right person and opportunity comes along? Do I have the suitable credentials or criteria to even apply for that kind of school?

Sometimes the ideas flood my mind, sometimes they are hidden far away from me... I have learnt no to force it.. Just let it come naturally... But sometimes I get a bit frustrated because I am unable to draw the ideas in my head... What turns out on paper is not a representation of the concept that i have in my head at all... Haiz... So much for creativity...

If you have any advice as to how i can proceed from here, PLEASE let me know!!

Yesterday i had a very insightful walk with him around Suntec... Many things were discussed as we walked aimlessly around.. We were not interested in the shops and didn't even know where we were going to but the conversation we had was very purposeful and opened my eyes to his very complex mind... But we still couldn't figure out the right way and path to achieving our dreams...

I asked him," Do you think we will ever be able to make it? Fulfill our dreams of going to a place where we will be surrounded with maple leaves, fresh air and less tension?"... haha.... He said he didn't know.. Depends on the steps we take in the future...

Maybe that's the way i am... very insecure when i am unable to see the clear steps to the place i want to be... I guess it's no longer like when we were young, our parents told us that in order to do this, you had to go through that..

Is this what they call life? How it turns out depends on the roads you choose?

How?..... Why?

How could you be so heartless? To actually agree when she said you were going with your girlfriend for entertainment?
Are you SHOUTING in her face that she no longer has a place in your heart?
How could you????? You disappoint me.... All the respect is gone... Don't think it will return..
Why are you doing this even though you SHOULD know it will break her heart?
Why are you so heartless and unfeeling nowadays?
How could you even bring yourself to agree to something like that?
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I can count the days left to the all important date... Exactly 11 days from now.. I will be embracing an entirely new aspect and step in my life...

Excited that it's the next step in my life,
Nervous as I don't really know what to expect,
Stressed: I want that day's event to run smoothly
Hopeful...... Hope that everything will go smoothly, hope we will not end up like people around us... Hope we will be able to hold hands and tackle anything that comes our way together and not let our emotions get us into situations where unpleasant words are mentioned and can never be taken back...

I am going to work my ass off to make sure this works out the way we both want it to.. Not going to let it end up like people around us.

Please give me strength and patience to deal with all things coming...

We shall work together to keep jealousy and suspicions at bay k? Ok?

So......

It's been a long time since i last posted...

Recent updates.....

- My date of 'migration' is tentatively set at 18th Dec... But again, as usual no confirmation as yet.... just have to see how it goes.. Going to start clearing my off soon... haha.... My fellow cows are saying that now is a great time to move over to a new pasture as the new shepherd is a bit psy***.

- I have started with baby steps... Hopefully I don't fall flat on my face and not be able to pick myself up.

Dreams will always be there.. I will try my best to chase and fulfill them. Just hope I don't end up falling and being unable to stand up and try again after that..

I am now totally in love with the korean show on Channel U... I think it is one of my indulgences, where i can dream of myself in those fairy tale situations after the show... Don't snigger k? It's my stress-reliever.. :P

It's been a long time

Haven't blogged for quite a long time, haven't been able to access my comp.

Yesterday was particularly frustrating as I couldn't connect to my wireless network no matter what I did. I even called the Stahub care centre, the guy was really patient and helped me loads but still I couldn't connect. He told me that there was a possibility that a person could have hacked into my network and did something which doesn't allow me to use MY network when he/she is using.

Whoever that person is, I am sorry for being vicious but I hope that person gets his/her deserved retribution for being such a cheat.

Planning is meeting with a few obstacles as usual. I thought the storm was over but dark clouds are still hanging around after the downpour. Threatening to rain with any wrong move or words.. Stuff not settled and more problems and ideas on the way... Haiz...

I should be able to....

I should be able to happy with where I am now.

I should be able to spend as I like on things that I like, seeing that my job provides for almost anything.

I don't even have to buy clothes for work. I should be able to pamper myself and not feel the pinch.

So why is it that I feel like I am saving money all the time and have nothing left for myself?


You ask me why my face is so black.

You have no idea what is going through my head.

You don't know what it feels like when I tell you an idea and you just "mmm" and walk off.

You probably will never know. Maybe if by some freak chance, you read this then you might have an idea.

Is it like what she said?

"That you don't really bother because I seem secure with myself?"

Why?

I am very puzzled.

Why do I feel that you tend to listen more to other people than me although the ideas are the same?

Is it because i have very little credibility and you don't trust me, don't trust my ideas?

Or is it that I am not eloquent enough to put my ideas into words as effectively as others?

It upsets me that you listen to other's advice and come to tell me how wonderful it is when it was similar to what I told you in the beginning..

But do YOU know how upsetting it is?

Hmmmm....

Someone asked me a very interesting question today after reading this blog.


Him: "Does it matter?"


Me: "Huh?"


Him: " You being you..."


This very innocent question led me to think, is it so obvious to everyone out there that i have a major problem with me being me? We carried on to discuss about goals and aspirations. Many things inspire me. Yet, I do not know in which direction i should head after I am inspired.

He said he is interested in design, even showed me his website.. At least he is starting somewhere. He asked what i was interested in.. Many things!!! Maybe I am one of those meant to be "Jill of all trades and master of none".

Sometimes when I look at dance or theatre productions, I wished i was a part in making it happen. I am not talking about being the lead dancer or main character. I wouldn't mind just being the one bringing refreshments to the cast, helping with the sets or helping the cast with their many costume changes.. haha... Am i very simple minded or is it that I don't have high aspirations? I would feel very satisfied that the tiny parts I played helped to make it happen or be a success...

I told him that I was still looking for my strength, he replied not to look too far as it might be nearer than I think..Many enlightening words followed.. At the end, he just advised me to progress from thinking to making baby steps in achieving what i want..

"Crossing my fingers I do not trip with my first step"

Confused, upset, guilty.. What am i feeling?

I feel weird. Immediately after landing in Singapore, I received news that my working place would be changing. I landed on the 28th Oct, i was told the change would take place on 1st nov..???????? Huh?..

Now I am still at the same place, awaiting confirmation. Nothing is confirmed yet. So I feel a bit like an unwanted child or nobody's child. Waiting for people to come forward to claim me. Maybe this can be considered as an occupational hazard. Ha... I am hopeful the new place will be a greener meadow. All my fellow cows are telling me it IS greener. But I guess I will have to 'migrate' over there to know the truth. But anyhow, still looking forward or maybe i should say pining for the arrival of 2009...

I am feeling a bit guilty because I feel that I haven't been able to concentrate fully on the training that I am involved in because of my travels (oops) and the major events taking place in my life now. So a bit sorry to the people that have been affected due to this. Sorry sorry... Very sorry...

I am upset... But honestly, I don't really know why I am upset and what's is upsetting me. Just feeling the blues. So if there are any psychics out there that can help me figure out the demons and devils in my head. HEEELLLLP!!!!

In the middle...

I am stuck in the middle. Stuck between 2 sides. Both want me to be on their side and give them advice and solve the problem.

I am only me, I can't do everything. I can give advice but I can't force people to heed them.

If at the end of the day, advice is requested but not paid attention to, then I refuse to be involved anymore. I am unable to tell who is telling me the truth, the whole truth. Who is holding back and telling me partial truth. So I think it would be unwise to pass any judgement.

I thought I was aware of what was happening and the factors contributing it, now I am not that sure.