Will we eventually lose ourselves?

I watched Marley and Me with Mr H yesterday.. We had originally wanted to watch Valkyrie but were unable to make it for the available showtimes. So we settled for Marley and Me.

The dog was really cute and extremely similar to TKB as both dogs were affected by thunderstorms. Marley howls at thunderstorms while TKB hides under the table.

As the show progressed, the family also grew in size with the addition of 3 babies. It felt like the feelings of the character were reflecting and representing my own hesitations and fears. The female character had to give up her job. There was resentment. Resentment arising from having to sacrifice her job for the family. Resentment from him having to stay with a certain job for the stability of the family. Unhappiness from the inability to do the things they really desire.

How and will we lose ourselves in the process of creating a family? Is that really what everyone wants? Or are we just following the norms of the society? Will resentment eventually break down the relationship?

Yet, there was a point in the movie where a subtle but so important message was said, "I made my decisions and i will stand by them. Together we will get through things."

Shut the bloody hell up!!

Why do people not know when to keep their bloody mouths shut?!!

Like a radio that has its repeat button permanently pressed down, he just keeps going on and on. He says "Talk with substance, speak with style". It's easy to say, isn't it. But it's quite obvious he doesn't practice what he preaches.

No one is interested in all the "good" that you are doing. You always claim to be a good leader, a guru and a senior. But what's the point of it all? A good leader or mentor is not one that only brags about himself, all the supposedly useful projects that he has done or the power that he claims to have. Most importantly, someone that "noble" will not condemn others while bragging about himself.

The past is past. Do not always try to boast about your glorious history.

Firstly : no one is interested

Secondly : you have repeated it so many times that i am sure people "shut down" when they hear the same opening sentence.

Thirdly : Are you really really sure your history is THAT glorious??

So, just shut the bloody hell up!!!

Don't talk about grooming the young. You claim to be so senior etc.. Then where is the guidance? The worst thing a senior can do is to plant spies. Spies that report to you so that you can use the information against the unsuspecting people.

Do you really think no one is aware what a bloody idiot you are? Or are you underestimating everyone's intelligence?

Serenity

What is your definition of serenity?

Mine:


~Running along the reservoir and watching men cast their rods



~Looking at the silhouettes of the men cast on the water by the setting sun



~Sitting on the bench, watching sun set and listening to Enya



~Observing the calm waters and paddle pop like sky



~Enjoying the cool breeze


It's amazing how simple pleasures such as these can be so refreshing...for the mind and body.

Round and round they go

The thoughts are like a continuous merry go round.. There is no stop button and no power switch to switch it off. I keep asking myself the same questions, keep considering the same factors. Too many "What ifs" cloud my brain. The issue of suitability, experience, economy etc contribute to the merry go round everyday..

I am driving myself nuts and probably the people around me too..

My vampire tendencies are back and even worse than before. Sitting up more often during the night and scaring the hell out of Mr H..

I feel inadequate. Questions that I have no answers to. Information that I take extremely long to process and digest. Have I unconsciously slipped into a particular mental state also known as "THE MOOD"? I compare myself now and then. It seems like I was more eager to find out what was going on when I was there in 2007. The difference between then and now is so vast. I have spent a year here but yet I still say "Erh, I don't really know" almost everytime I am asked something. Why do I seem to have lost the drive? I seem to be constantly blaming the environment and the people within.

Is the true problem within myself?