The grass is greener...

The grass is greener on the meadows from which i was forced to vacate. Much much greener, the air was fresher, the environment more friendly.

Am i prejudiced and my judgment biased? Don't think so, afterall it's always the first impression that is the deepest. You could say I have not integrated myself to fit into the system and that is the reason for my negative thoughts. Yes and no... The grass in this meadow is dry, withering and growing in a disorganised order. I have not been able to determine the genuine friendliness of the fellow residents of the meadow. All i can say is that i am suddenly made aware of how blessed i was in the previous meadow.

There were trustworthy aides that i could depend on to guide me in the right direction. They were there to ensure that the others would not take advantage of the areas that i were unsure of and made sure i was aware of all the loopholes in the system. They helped to be the front line of defence so that if they failed, i could back them up for a more powerful defense. They made sure they helped to settle as much as they could so that i had a few less things to worry about. Who said most people just waste that particular 2 years away. These ones didn't. They came with the right mindset, attitude and most importantly initiative. They were unafraid of telling me that they too would occasionally break rules.

To these special people (Blabber10:you prob can guess the other 3-W, R & T): You will probably not read this, but i THANK YOU!. Thank you for providing me with the generous guidance when i was thrown to take over especially when you could have been skeptical, folded your arms and say,"Let's see how she copes". I thank you for not doing that. In addition, i wish you success in all you do k!

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It's amazing how walking alone in a shopping centre can clear your mind and thoughts for self-reflection. As i walked around Centrepoint for the umpteenth time before lesson started, i was suddenly aware of how therapeutic walking alone can be. It seemed like my life is a reflection of the way i was walking around the place.. Aimlessly.

I sit in my office everyday, not knowing what exactly i need to do, not knowing how to go about and start tackling the problems that are waiting to pounce upon me the moment i open the office door. It scares me. Scares the sh*t out of me. I thought last year's experience would come in handy for me and that if i could handle last year, i would at least be able to survive this. But i am sooo wrong. I count the hours in the day constantly, asking myself and checking my time to wonder why time is passing so slowly and suddenly 1 year feels like eternity. The environment and people truly are a factor in the way and speed that time passes.

The evils of men

I think it stings when the people you think you can trust talk bad, gossip and spread evil lies about you when you have helped them with their load. They are evil in the way that they do not tell you directly what they don't like about you but go around the world poisoning the way people look at you.

I think he could interpret it as jealousy so as to comfort himself. Jealous that he went on a 2 week holiday and left them to work. But the key thing here is he didn't leave rubbish or shit for them to clear which is quite rampant in the organisation. He left with everything in order but i guess people are always alert to the bad and blind to the good. They are probably jealous that he will be leaving the rotten organisation soon and leaving them to wallow in their self pity mode.. Haha!

He says he is not affected by it but sometimes he does give himself away when he says he is sian with work. It is not the work that affects him, its the people and their attitdues which are totally uncalled for. Am i being biased? Nope. I am not physically present but i do have a rough knowledge of what is going on.

So in summary, i can only only advise 'you' this. Hold your head up and back straight. You have done nothing wrong and will be able to withstand all the dirty looks and tricks that petty people throw at you. Take this as a motivation for you to succeed and flaunt your success in their faces.

Gambatte ne!