Reality check...

It is 3 days to a new year where i will be going to a new area... Will have to adapt a new working environment and adopt a different role..Had been doing instructional role for the past 2 plus year, from 2007 will be doing a management role...

As i prepare and plan for the next year, there are things that i am considering. I know that my little dream of dancing is not going to happen.. haha... Next year will be hectic.. Work then rushing to starhub centre for studies, preparing for the dinner at the end of the year. So yup, there probably won't be time to squeeze in anything else. Even if i had, i probably won't be able to concentrate too..

Think time will pass very quickly next year.. Time flies when you are busy. Somehow i am looking forward to 2008 already. Looking forward to graduation coz that means that i can see the road to freedom..

2008... Long way from now... but worries have come early.. doubts too.. Will i be competent enough for the new responsibilities that i will assume? Will i be resentful if i look back and regret the times when i didn't make full use of the freedom? Will i be good enough? Will i end up like people around me, resented for their absence during the early years?

I did it.. haha.. somehow...

I did it... I managed to finish cooking the dishes at the same time he finished his.. I did fried cheese sticks, bruschetta and cream of broccoli soup.. haha.. There was a lot of cutting and toasting and rolling.. I think the maid must have been silently screaming! haha... She had to wash the blender over and over again coz i kept using after she washed it. The soup was quite easy to make.. The bruschetta too.. The cheese sticks were the most labour-intensive..I had to toast slices of bread and blend them to make the breadcrumbs. Then had to mix 2 types of flour which thankfully i had help with. Then beat eggs and mix with water.. Then i had to roll the mozareela sticks in flour followed by egg then breadcrumbs,egg again then lastly breadcrumbs again.. Guess what? I had not enough breadcrumbs, so while i was struggling to roll the cheese, i also had to toast and season breadcrumbs again...BUSY!!!! Lucky i started the soup quite early so i managed to finish 1 dish and just keep it warm.

I had help with the bruschetta too... Thank you thank you.. haha..In the end i still had some leaky cheese sticks.. :(. The cheese was not really melted in a few of the non-leaky ones.. But at least i had a few that were non-leaky and had stretchy cheese when bitten into... YIPPPEE!! Achievement liao.. Haha... considering that i was referring to the recipes all the time..They said it was nice. Yeah!! Happy!!

I cooked the exact same dishes for my parents the next day.. Haiz... this time i didn't have to refer to the recipes. The cheese sticks had really melted cheese... I know because this time MOST of the sticks were leaky! Sian!.. I even ended up with an empty one, because all the cheese had leaked while cooking.. So i guess if i am ever going to make it again, i shall prepare LOts of breadcrumbs..

Thank you for tha last minute advice on msn... Haha... Lucky i asked about the flour.. Coz i had already decided to use self raising flour as i thought they were the same..Looking forward to Sunday!... Yum yum..

oh... in addition to the previous post, i also want shades... I was eyeing the Oakley's script but i went to try and it rested on my cheeks instead of my nose, so not very ideal ah? Before that i tried a pair at forever 21, it rested on my nose.. yeah.. but not sure about the UV protection.. BUT when i went back to see it again.. it was no longer there... SOb sob.... So the hunt for the perfect pair of shades continues....

So nice....

Everything is so nice.. I want to buy everything... I am sure you do too.. That's why you had to refrain from trying them to prevent the temptation from overcoming you...

- Black, Shiny, Lovely, Gorgeous, high heels
- Green, CHECKED dress
- Red checked dress
- Handbag with red polka dots and white background from the shop with the 'straight- jacket' cuffs

Many many more are out there and waiting to be discovered!... But please do not take this as a hint from me k... I am just saying that i really think all these are very lovely... To me... instead of not trying them on, i try to prevent myself from giving in to temptation by reasoning with myself that i have very few occasions to use all these beautiful stuff..Hee. ... So then it is not value for money anymore...Different method,same effect.

Anyway when i tell you my financial status, i am not expecting you to volunteer to pay for my expenses.. I just needed to tell someone.. Anyway i figured i shouldn't do it anymore.. It only makes me look pathetic...

I want to be like that too....

I have to go for attachment soon... It is slowly becoming a pain in the neck.. this monthly thing.. But nothing can be done about it... just have to go...

I was in awe of someone the other day...As i was listening to him talk, i felt grateful and amazed at his wisdom.. He is able to tell people directly to their faces that their ideas don't work and they accept his honest opinion. When he does that, some may immediately label him as being negative but most of the times when they insist with going along with the idea and it fails, i have to resist the urge to tell them, "He told you so!". Haha.. No one dares to bully him or make him clear their rubbish.. Maybe because he has a "Don't mess with me" face...I don't really know why too... But one thing i do know, he is really important to some people. People trust him and truly believe in his abilities and competence... I have not but would really like to ask him, "What does it feel like to know that some people need you desperately to help them?" Does it feel extremely satisfying?
Sometimes i am also amazed at the foresight that he has, the ability to thoroughly give thought to every decision that he makes... I am glad that i have the chance to know him.. Maybe in the future, i will discover more qualities that amaze me..

Will he also discover qualities in me that will amaze him?

Can you be my guinea pig?

I cooked my first dinner yesterday! Haha... Of course with lots of help from my mother... Frying fish is still one of my fears.. haha.. Didn't want to let go of the fish.. scared that the oil will splash onto my fingers la! haha... Anyway the oil still landed on my fingers.. haha.. A bit pain.. but i guess i will get use to it soon.. After that i fried eggs.. This was the only dish that i did all on my own! Yippeee! It came out fluffy but very OILY...I think i put too much oil... Oops!!! The vegetable was ok la.. haha..came out normal.. Haha...His face was very interesting when my ma told him that i was cooking.. he seem very pleased... haha...

I went Arab street on wednesday... Finally get to go there.. haha.. Saw lots of stores selling cloth and more cloth.. haha... I was very tempted to buy some of the scarves on sale so that i could cut them up and make small outfits.. haha.. To show who? actually no one la.. just maybe to convince myself that i have what it takes.. But the truth is i have absolutely no idea about the techniques and basics involved in dressmaking.. So if anyone out there has lots of scrap cloth, can donate to me,.,...Pleeease?... As i was walking along the shops, i was thinking of making one of my own drawings into an outfit for myself,. hee... Or is there anyone who wants to lend me your figure then i can try try on you? haha,... Be my guinea pig can? but i promise you no diarrhoea... haha...

Interesting...

I went to watch my first Hindi movie on tuesday night.. I watched Dhoom 2 with Ottie... Haha,... i didn't even know what the movie was about when i was buying the tickets... When the guy at the counter said it was an indian movie, i was like, "Huh?" then after that i said ya.. Haha.. Right after i bought the tickets and was waiting for her to arrive, she smsed and told me that the movie was an indian movie but there were english subtitles.. haha.. Then she said the movie was 3 hrs long! And that there was an interval.. haha.. first time i have heard of something like that...

The movie was quite interesting.. The stunts cool, the dancing inspiring and the songs infectious... After i left the cinema and was walking back home, i was still humming the song.. haha.. The female leads were gorgeous! and the actor playing the thief had really mesmerizing eyes.. Yes...Ottie... He's really hot.. haha!!I must say it was a pleasant experience... The house that they were filming in when they escaped to Brazil was very nice!!!! I want to stay there!!! Even the house of the cop's sister was very interesting.. Colourful and so very colourful!!.. haha...

Before i went to meet her, i went to cut my hair in the afternoon... haha.. All i can say is that in some ways, 'Ah Gong' is back and alive... My fringe has not been so short since secondary school when i was nicknamed ah gong. haha!! Good old times....

I was told an interesting piece of information while we having dinner and waiting for the show to start... To You: You have waited so long for the opportunity and finally it has presented itself to you.. Remember when you thought you had failed the 2nd test? This is your chance to do the thing that you are so passionate about... Maybe in this way, you will be saving the world bit by bit... All the best dear!!!

If my migration date had not been altered, we would be starting on our new paths on the same day.. haha...

I am still looking for the direction to chase my dreams,.. Currently i am still stuck in a thick fog, unsure of the directions available and which one i should take...

I want....

I want to do everything and anything that i want to do... I think this might sound very familiar to you... After all, you also want to do it..

I want to:
- Be able to make clothes
- Be able to say confidently i believe in the things i draw
- Dance in performances
- Play a small but significant role in any kind of production, be it theatre, dance etc...
- Travel the world, immerse in the cultures of the countries

At the moment, this is what i can think of.. I guess as time goes by, more will be added to the list..Even now as i look back, there are a few things that i wished that i had done better or had the guts and time management to do it..Would life have been different if i had chose to walk a different education and career path? Sometimes i am afraid to say the dreams that i have. Afraid that the things that i think i am capable of doing are actually of below average standards..
I guess i am still looking for something that i can proclaim loudly and proudly," This is what i am best at!"
Will you feel like i am copying the things that you are doing, that i have no originality of my own and that i am just a copycat with no strengths?

There was a day when we were just walking around, he told me that i could develop the things that i was dabbling with into a service where it is unique and every piece is custom made to the individual's idea... Immediately a fantasy developed in my head.. I could do that and go volunteer at some arts troupe or something.. haha.. A bit ridiculous ah.. By the time i am free to do that, my bones will probably be creaking or i will have to deal with other responsibilities.. That's why i call it a fantasy. Haha...

Anyway to the 'Imelda Marcos' amongst us.. Thank you for the invitation to browse and borrow from your collection.. Sorry that it will always be me borrowing from you and never the other way round... think the stuff in my wardrobe are quite blah.. haha... Anyway i think i roughly know what your next step will be... I am sure you will be very happy with the decision that you are going to make.. You will definitely succeed... Don't let people affect you or allow weird thoughts to be implanted in your head.

Lonely...

Before you gals panic... everything is fine.. I am lonely in other areas of my life... Not the relationship portion...

I always ask people around me what it feels like to have siblings...They say there will be arguments but at the same time they have someone to share their problems. Some have a huge age gap between themselves and their siblings and may not be that close... But as they always say "Blood will always be thicker than water". I always wondered what it would be like to have sibling? Do you feel safer? Have a better sense of security?

To me... I would be very happy to have a sibling.. There are always things that you can't tell your parents because you know they will have difficulty understanding.. Having someone of the same generation to listen is nice.. You may tell me to confide in my friends.. But sometimes not everything can be told to friends.. You don't really want to 'air your dirty laundry' right?
Haha.. another plus point that i can see is that you could raid each other's wardrobe.. Technically you can have 2 wardrobes to choose from.. haha.. This is if i had a sister ah... But even having a brother will be good.. Can ask him to handle the bullies that disturb you.. haha..

But i guess i will be content to have really good friends... I read a few pages of Nicole Richie's book... And there was a line that said good friends were like diamonds.. They will shine brightly in your life.. I am glad and thankful that i have a few diamonds in my life.. I don't really know what i did to deserve them but i am still thankful for them.. *HUGZ*

Surprise or no?

Recently some one asked me if i was going to buy her the thing that she told me she wanted or that i was going to surprise her with something.. I told her that i was going to buy her the thing that she told me.. I am sorry, I don't dare to tell you that i will surprise you.. Simply because i feel more secure when i am buying you something that i am confident you really like it...

Sometimes i want to get people gifts without asking them or telling them.. But the truth is, I don't trust my own taste... I may get something which the other person thinks it's toally hideous but is too polite to tell me... Maybe that's the main reason why i always ask my freinds what they want for presents, be it birthdays or X'mas... I think i feel more at ease when i buy things for my friends which i know is exactly what they had been eyeing for long... Especially when some of my friends already have everyting they need... (*Hint Hint... Miss Hoo....*).. :P. To my friends: Sorry for always asking so directly what all of you want.. I have tried to listen carefully and to pay attention to the things that my friends take interest in so that at least i have an idea of what to get.
Maybe it is not in my blood.. But if i listen or pay attention to the things that fascinate my friends, i will find out that by the time i want to go buy it, it has probably been bought by my efficient friends.. haha.. Or i will forget along the way.. Some kind of friend that i am ah.. haha...

Marry christmas to all.. It would be great if singapore had snow, then we would have a white christmas... Possible?

Wow...

I went to a friend's wedding today... Very enlightening... I was part of the 'brothers' gang.. haha... Went to stay over at the groom's house the night before, followed them to pick his bride up.. Very interesting.. I always hear about people talking about the little details but i didn't know there were SO many little details.. Little little things that are very important and cannot be handled by anyone except the chosen ones...

Timing was a very important factor too... Each portion was scheduled to end at a certain timing so that the whole day would run smoothly...We reached the bride's house and braced ourselves for a 'tekan' session... Haha.. we had to eat mashmallows covered with a mixture of coffee, wasabi and vinegar.. Hmmm... Don't really know how to describe the taste.. Then the 'jie meis' of the bride passed a piece of paper that had been folded to form 3 connecting hearts and a tube of lipstick. The brother's had to put the lipstick on and cover the paper with as many kisses as possible.. HAHA.... HS went first and when he tried to apply the lipstick, i think he applied too much force and he broke the lipstick... But the brothers gamely put the lipstick and covered the paper.. Haha... Most of them had 'sausage lips' and 'blood stained' fingers after that... HAHAHAHA...It was a very funny sight...

When i was observing the entire procedure, many thoughts were running through my mind. Why do we have so many customs? What are their purposes? Yet at the same time, i am proud that we have such a rich heritage and proud of some of the customs.. Also i observed that there were really a lot of steps that had to be followed strictly..
We had buffet dinner at Ritz Carlton... First time i entered any Ritz Carlton in the world... A bit of a mountain tortoise ah... But it was VERY VERY nice.... Lovely... The staff were really friendly and ready to help at any time.. But i felt a bit awkward... Didn't feel very comfortable because i think it's a bit too posh for me... Don't really know the appropriate behaviour.. hee...

I think i better use the next few weddings i attend as learning sessions..

Today's post is a little short.. The lack of sleep due to sleeping at 3 am and waking up at 6am is kicking in... Goodnight my dears.. I have sent emails to most of you to view the photos on Yahoo photo album.. Go see k? Hee...Some of the photos are a bit weird.. I look either like a chipmunk or just plain weird... Just go see k... Anyway for those of you who have received your bonus, Enjoy it!!! For those who haven't, it's on the way k... Patience, Hee...

Goodnight... Sweet dreams

You called this efficiency?

You call this efficiency? What the hell? What is your definition?

i am an unwanted cow... I haven't gone over to the other meadow but i am already been milked for profits. What the hell... So that's how a system works... Now i know..

Don't call it a system when you don't bother about the feelings and situations of the people involved. A word of advice to ALL boses or superiors out there: When you have to make a decision that concerns a person's future, Consult the person first, ask for that person's feelings and thoughts. That's the basic courtesy you should give.. BASIC courtesy...

So frantic... no time to think...

I have so many things runnning through my mind now... I have to think about going from one place to another tmr. Then after that have to go spend the night at a friend's house who is getting married the next day. Then i have to plan what i want to wear for the day. But in between i have to rush off to the other side of singapore and rush down to the hotel, change clothes and attend the dinner... So unglam... And so very tiring...

And i just realised the sad reality as i stare at my wardrobe.. i have worn the same dress to a few occasions already.. My trusty LBD... haha... that only cost me 20 buck from This Fashion a long time ago... GOoood buy.. haha.. Anyway i still need to find a recipe for a dip for fried mozarella cheese sticks.. If any suggestions and recipes, PLEASE let me know k?... Thanx thanx...

Wanted to wash the clothes before my ma gets back from India... But don't know whether i will have the time to do so... Looking forward to her stories when she gets back.,.... Can't wait...

Goodnight dear all... Going to sleep... Hope my mind can get some rest...

Pissed off...

I feel like we have been taken for fools along many others by people who want to make it appear that their developments are greatly sought after.

We received information via sms like the 5700 other people who applied for "The Premiere" at tampines but didn't get it the first time. We were told that there was now walk in selection for the flats.

Why did i just know that this was going to happen? Was it because they didn't ask us to specify the type of flat we were applying in the application form? Did they actually know exactly how many people wanted 5-rm, how many wanted 4-rm and how many wanted 2-rm? Did they even consider the priority cases? Did they consider the amount of applicants and double it specifically according to the specific flats available or did they just take the total number of flats and double it to get the amount of people eligible for balloting?

When i checked the net, there were still many units that were not taken up.. Sigh... So much for efficiency. Never mind.. We decided to give it another shot. In the sms sent to us, they didn't state the place for the walk in selection. Maybe to some of you, it's common sense that it would be at the showflat. But for me, i was unsure whether it would be at the showflat or at HDB. So what was the next best thing i did? I called them.

Ha.. Maybe i shouldn't have. I think that phone call brought up my blood pressure and pulse rate. I called and the person on the other side of the phone said, "YA!". Can you imagine the rude shock i received? I told her i was calling about the walk in selection and again she was,"YA?"... Hmmmm... i think her dictionary is quite limited ah... Never mind, i asked her NICELY where the selection would be at and she told me, "At the showflat, of course!".
To this particular LISA, if you are unhappy, having a bad hair day or whatever, DON'T answer the phone. Don't even sit near one! The person on the other end certainly doesn't deserve or appreciate the 'polite' tone of your voice and your monosyllabic answers.

We went down to queue in hope that maybe, just maybe we could still have a chance at getting at a flat even though we knew chances were slim. When we reached there, there was a crowd at the entrance and a sign stating that there were only 56 flats left. There was a queue in the slight drizzle. I stood behind this lady who was remarking that she came down at 10 to help queue for her friend but became drenched so she went back to get a change of clothes. She told me that there were unhappiness because the people queued and when they reached the entrance, they were told that the quota for chinese owners was full. Guess what. It almost happened to us too. We also started queueing but everyone was uncertain whether the quota was full so relatives went to check whole the rest stood in line. And true enough, the quota was full.

At once, the queue shortened.... We even saw a couple that came out looking quite unhappy. Apparently they were already inside the showflat for quite a long time but because of tardiness, they were deprived of a chance to get a flat.

I am not disappointed that we didn't get the flat. Just appalled at the system that the company chose to handle the applications, ballots etc... I am sure people who had to take urgent leave, queued for ages for nothing would be furiously nodding their heads in agreement. Maybe it's a marketing ploy or something, to prove that people are really interested in the project. But making everyone run around like fools on a wild goose chase isn't very nice, don't you think?

I guess i am more interested in the transparency at how the company handled the applications. Did they consider the priority cases? When informing the people about the walk in selection, was everyone informed at the same time? Did they inform the priority cases first? Or there were some people that received the sms late due to the jam in the network?....

To me, the goverment's push for more people to get married and have children is a good thing, to prevent an aging population. But firstly, it is important to see if the situations allow it. There is really no point in encouraging more people to set up families when flats are getting smaller, closer to each other and more expensive. Will we end up like our ancestors where they lived in squatters? Or will just end up with a aging population because young couples are unwilling to have children and pack their families in small and uncomfortable spaces?

Delayed reaction....

In the phuket trip, i had a feeling of self achievement.. I finally had the guts to do something that i had been procrastinating for a very long time.. Why had i been pushing it back for such a long time? I have no idea.. guess i am afraid when people see me do it, they will say," Huh? Like that also dare to wear ah."

Ottie... I think you might have an idea of what i am talking about.. I remember on 1 occasion i told you very excitedly that i was going to get myself a set but never got down to it. Until a few months ago, i told Nana to help me order it together with some stuff she was getting for her friends. It was weird wearing so little and walking around. But i guess i could seek consolation in the fact that if the sight of me was giving people sore eyes, they will probably never see me again.

It's weird, now i am inspired to get myself a few more sets so that if i go for summer holidays again, i don't have to wear the same set for all the days... hee... So i guess i can say goodbye to 'racer-back' tan lines soon...

Why did i call this post "Delayed reaction"?

At my age, i want to go clubbing and see what is in it that interests the young and restless.. Not that i am very old now.. but you get my meaning. But now when i have the freedom and the financial ability to go, all the novelty of going has worn off my friends. Haha... That day one of the elder people in my organisation laughed at me... He joked that i was wasting my youth, so young but never been in a club or pub before. I argued that i was not interested and he asked if i had even stepped into one.. And the sad truth is nope.

So i guess that's where the delayed reaction is.. Now, I do things that people have probably lost interest in and stopped doing.. Why didn't i decide to join them when it was all the rage?

Reflecting and anticipating the future.....

Just came back from Phuket... Went back to the beautiful, secluded and soooo very exclusive world of Laguna Phuket.. Your worries get lifted off your shoulders the moment the car passes the entrance and immediately you feel you have entered a entirely different world...

Thank you!!! Thank you to you for this wonderful wedding present!! Lotsa Love!!!

Remember you told me that day at Sembawang. You said that now you had another sister? It felt very unreal to me.. hee... Please don't take this in a bad way.. Maybe i am very used to being alone.. But suddenly after you said that.. it's like my dreams of having a sibling have come true.. hee.. Hope your goose bumps are not coming out.. Anyway in short, just want to say i was very touched when you said that.. Very touched.. *Sob sob*... :) Anyway your reaction to my friends running on their back breaking heels was very cute.. haha... If you want lobang to buy shoes from online shops, just tell me k.. hee... anyway i also got a list of online shopping websites.. Haha.. It's the list that leads to Ottie calling me the devil because sending her the list will lead to her buying more stuff.. Heh heh...

Sitting at the balcony and looking at the lagoon in phuket was very calming and let me to think of many many things... I am still learning to accept the changes in my life.. I caught him looking at his finger quite a few times after Tuesday... I still catch him doing that.. hee. I think in some ways, it tells me how it important it is to him and at the same time i think he is also slowly coming to terms with the situation. But whenever i catch him glancing at his ring, it gives me a very warm and fuzzy feeling inside...

We went to swim in the sea... So fun!!! First time i swam in the sea... Was a little scary at first.. but after the initial jitters, it was amazing fun. We soaked in the sea, allowed the waves to push us and when we were filling wrinkled, went back to shore to enjoy our coconuts. We were covered by waves on 2 occasions.. hee. The waves broke above our heads and there was no escaping. I even swallowed a mouthful of sea water as I tried to gasp for air. haha.. What an experience.. Life should be like that... Haha... I could easily be addicted to that kind of life..

Wore the ring on my third finger as it was a little loose and i didn't want to lose it in the middle of the sea, that would be my GREATEST nightmare... His ring is so tight he has difficulty removing it on his own and i had to help him.. Something I said while helping him remove the ring is still stuck in my head.
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I told him," I put this ring on your finger and I shall be the only one to remove it."
Think this statement to me is very important.. Hopefully it is of equal importance to him. Think the situations surrounding a person can add to his/her paranoia.
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We went for a spa on the second day.. I think it was a very new experience for him as this was the first time he was going for a spa.. It was very amusing watching him. Think the lady doing for him must have thought that he was insane.. He kept laughing! After a while, when the lady was about to massage his legs, she would steal a look at his face and i could see a smile forming on her face as she knew that the moment she applied pressure, he would laugh.. Haha..
But i think the massage we had in our rooms was more bearable for him. Maybe because the lady applied more strength, so it didn't feel that ticklish for him


We had our breakfast of biscuits and nutella every morning while sitting at the balcony and facing the lagoon.. Sitting there, i couldn't help reflecting on the events that took place on Tuesday.. If someone told me i was able to turn back time to Tuesday, i think i would choose not to take the option. Both of us felt that apart from us overlooking to provide tea and coffee after the meal, there was nothing that we regretted and wanted to change even if we had the chance.

It's amazing, isn't it?It seems like a long time has passed but in fact, it hasn't even been a week...
We sat at the balcony and decided to discuss our future. But then we realised that we couldn't discuss much as nothing is confirmed. But we both know that our next trip will prob be a long way down the road.. Our next target is to get our degree...

Oh no... studying coming up... think my brains are a little rusty... Hopefully i can catch up.

Think this post is a little confusing.. there are no clear links between each paragraph. Lots of thoughts in my head that are rushing to come out.. Hope no one is confused.

Read Ottie's blog and saw the pics... Very nice!!! erh... but got photo, i think my arm looks fat... ARGHHHHH!!!!... Oh no!... i think after all the eating and slacking in phuket, it is going to look fatter!! AHHHHH!!!! Oh no!!! Must go run liao.... :P

Anyway i am going to sleep.. have to go collect the cd rom from the shop tomorrow and shall tell you if the photos are good k... Goodnight dear all! Sleep tight and sweet dreams!!