Life...
Full of ups and downs,
Full of crossroads.
I entered the organisation, confident that I would end up staying with them all the way. Now i am looking forward to next year when i finally say goodbye to it and close this chapter.
Afraid... Subconsciously, i think that is the main reason why i am reluctant to meet up with them. Afraid that i am inferior as compared to them. All of them seem to come from XX university, working in YY company.. Somehow it feels like i ended up the worst in the class...
So don't really want to go for the fear of being the worst in the group..
Maybe i should have continue studying in a proper Uni after graduating from poly. Then i won't have to deal with the current rubbish from APMI Kaplan..
Anyway, it's bad.. their staff turnover rate seems very high too. We have had a change of 6-7 program managers in the past 1 and half years... So anyway i won't have to say much about their incompetence and admin lapses. Any of my classmates will share their stories with you too...
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Changes....
Knock on my head the day i change into someone you no longer recognise.
I told you this yesterday and i remember telling others the same thing when i moved up ranks. I have seen people change with the increase in power or authority that they are given. I hope i still am who i am when you first knew me. Please don't let me change for the worst, pull me back to where i belong when you see me floating away or wondering lost.
Change is like a double edged sword.. It results in both benefits and detriments. Maybe, like all things, it requires moderation.
I don't intend to change the world. I just want to contribute my tiny weeny part to make it that much better. If nothing changes after all the effort, then i will just comfort myself that at least i tried. If something seems out of place and there is a better way to do it, i will try it. If the new method fails, then at least i know i tried.
I have seen few that have left the system with people commenting about their wrong-doings all the time. I hope not to be one of them. I am not looking to be "best in this or best in that". I just want to be remembered for putting in her best effort. That's good enough for me, i guess...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am still mulling about the pink sheet of paper that you gave us yesterday. It scares me a little that i am about 5 years away from the big 30 and yet, i didn't have something that popped in my head the minute you told us to create the checklist.
What if i create the list but don't know how to take the little steps to get there? Will i end up more frustrated?
How long will i take to find myself? Will it be too late when it happens?
Do you know who you are and where you want to be in the future?
I told you this yesterday and i remember telling others the same thing when i moved up ranks. I have seen people change with the increase in power or authority that they are given. I hope i still am who i am when you first knew me. Please don't let me change for the worst, pull me back to where i belong when you see me floating away or wondering lost.
Change is like a double edged sword.. It results in both benefits and detriments. Maybe, like all things, it requires moderation.
I don't intend to change the world. I just want to contribute my tiny weeny part to make it that much better. If nothing changes after all the effort, then i will just comfort myself that at least i tried. If something seems out of place and there is a better way to do it, i will try it. If the new method fails, then at least i know i tried.
I have seen few that have left the system with people commenting about their wrong-doings all the time. I hope not to be one of them. I am not looking to be "best in this or best in that". I just want to be remembered for putting in her best effort. That's good enough for me, i guess...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am still mulling about the pink sheet of paper that you gave us yesterday. It scares me a little that i am about 5 years away from the big 30 and yet, i didn't have something that popped in my head the minute you told us to create the checklist.
What if i create the list but don't know how to take the little steps to get there? Will i end up more frustrated?
How long will i take to find myself? Will it be too late when it happens?
Do you know who you are and where you want to be in the future?
Monday, July 14, 2008
Finally.. A little happiness
Today was a mixture of feelings.
I started the day at work frustrated. A certain event was extended and it resulted in me having to rearrange major parts of the forecast. I see manpower constraints now and in the future.
Lunch-time was slightly nerve-wrecking especially when i had already made an appointment with my 2nd in command to tell him about the bad news that had been causing me sleepless nights and probably numerous wrinkles the past 2 weeks. I was wished good luck which i graciously accepted as it seemed like the only thing that could probably help me seeing as how 'divine intervention' may have failed.
Telling him wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. In fact, it was rather heart-warming as his first concern was how it would affect me. After telling him, i had to inform another person to keep a lookout for me for the specific serial number. If i had known earlier, i would have spoken to her first. She gave me such vital information that led me directly to where this "lost" item was! It wasn't even loaned out in the first place!
I was like a mad idiot jumping around in my workplace. Think they must have thought i had lost my mind. After i had passed along the good news, it did strike us that the people that we trusted more were also the people that lied.
So it does reveal true colours about people.. In a good and bad way. You see the people that will stand by you even though they are not really involved in it. Maybe if i try to give the benefit of doubt, it could be that she was so adamant that it was there was because she had taken the wrong set. But then again, this theory doesn't work out, since it was passed directly into her hands... Hmmmmm....
But all in all... I feel like a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders. I had been worrying the past 2 weeks, trying to go through the various scenarios of how it could have gone missing and flooding other people's inbox with sms even through the weekends.
I can now finally say the event that ended on the 1st has finally come to an end. Everything is going smoothly now. All that remains is the return of the various stores to their various owners..
Happy and relieved. Very.
I started the day at work frustrated. A certain event was extended and it resulted in me having to rearrange major parts of the forecast. I see manpower constraints now and in the future.
Lunch-time was slightly nerve-wrecking especially when i had already made an appointment with my 2nd in command to tell him about the bad news that had been causing me sleepless nights and probably numerous wrinkles the past 2 weeks. I was wished good luck which i graciously accepted as it seemed like the only thing that could probably help me seeing as how 'divine intervention' may have failed.
Telling him wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. In fact, it was rather heart-warming as his first concern was how it would affect me. After telling him, i had to inform another person to keep a lookout for me for the specific serial number. If i had known earlier, i would have spoken to her first. She gave me such vital information that led me directly to where this "lost" item was! It wasn't even loaned out in the first place!
I was like a mad idiot jumping around in my workplace. Think they must have thought i had lost my mind. After i had passed along the good news, it did strike us that the people that we trusted more were also the people that lied.
So it does reveal true colours about people.. In a good and bad way. You see the people that will stand by you even though they are not really involved in it. Maybe if i try to give the benefit of doubt, it could be that she was so adamant that it was there was because she had taken the wrong set. But then again, this theory doesn't work out, since it was passed directly into her hands... Hmmmmm....
But all in all... I feel like a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders. I had been worrying the past 2 weeks, trying to go through the various scenarios of how it could have gone missing and flooding other people's inbox with sms even through the weekends.
I can now finally say the event that ended on the 1st has finally come to an end. Everything is going smoothly now. All that remains is the return of the various stores to their various owners..
Happy and relieved. Very.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Increasing and increasing
Fuel price is going up... Prices of things are going up...
Expecting aid of some form...
BUT! Instead you are met with Everyday Rising Prices.
Yesterday i paid $1.50 because i missed the $1 time frame by 1 minute. Just as i was going under the gantry, the charges changed and increased.
Today i paid $2.00 because i went past the gantry about 6pm..
I think it's quite ridiculous. Instead of having some sort of relief from the crazily-increasing costs of things, we are faced with one more increase which i think lies in the timing of a certain decision which can be controlled.
Sigh... Is "apathetic" a word that truly reflects Singaporeans or is it that it has been instilled in us to just "suck it up?"
Expecting aid of some form...
BUT! Instead you are met with Everyday Rising Prices.
Yesterday i paid $1.50 because i missed the $1 time frame by 1 minute. Just as i was going under the gantry, the charges changed and increased.
Today i paid $2.00 because i went past the gantry about 6pm..
I think it's quite ridiculous. Instead of having some sort of relief from the crazily-increasing costs of things, we are faced with one more increase which i think lies in the timing of a certain decision which can be controlled.
Sigh... Is "apathetic" a word that truly reflects Singaporeans or is it that it has been instilled in us to just "suck it up?"
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Falling....
Unhappiness is like a bottomless pit.. Once you fall in, it always seems like you just keep falling deeper and deeper with no way of getting out.. Maybe that's why people sometimes end up going into depression.. Outsiders will probably look at them and think they just take things too seriously. But i think general unhappiness is a sum of fatigue, feeling unappreciated and feeling overwhelmed by things thrown onto their shoulders with no rest in sight.
It is strange how the simplest things can cheer a person up.
-Online shopping : Seeing the pretty things online. Not necessarily buying them but just seeing is good enough.
- Thinking of having a cup of Starbucks Choc Cream Chip Frapp is also bringing a smile to me.
- Seeing the funny and nice pictures that friends are putting on Facebook.
- Seeing sunrise while driving to work although in danger of falling asleep at the wheel.
- Buying Eason Chan concert tickets.
- Arranging to meet my friends and thinking of a pampering session
- Dreaming of going for a holiday again even though it seems like a long time before it happens.. Bangkok is good enough. Anywhere else can probably be counted as a bonus.
It is strange how the simplest things can cheer a person up.
-Online shopping : Seeing the pretty things online. Not necessarily buying them but just seeing is good enough.
- Thinking of having a cup of Starbucks Choc Cream Chip Frapp is also bringing a smile to me.
- Seeing the funny and nice pictures that friends are putting on Facebook.
- Seeing sunrise while driving to work although in danger of falling asleep at the wheel.
- Buying Eason Chan concert tickets.
- Arranging to meet my friends and thinking of a pampering session
- Dreaming of going for a holiday again even though it seems like a long time before it happens.. Bangkok is good enough. Anywhere else can probably be counted as a bonus.
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