I received my very first sms of failed giro deduction the other day and it did not register at first. But today as i was rotting at home reading my book, it suddenly struck that after paying my credit card bills, i did not have enough to pay for my handphone bills.
So for the second time in a week, i had to dig into my savings..
As i was walking around, i kept thinking to myself that i wanted to take a break and go shopping, yet they were such foolish thoughts since i was like down to my last 10 bucks. Another strange thought hit me while i was walking back to the mrt. How is it that the young couple that looked like they were still schooling and walking in front me afford the branded items that they were carrying..
Hmmmm.... Am i not saving hard enough?
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Finding that support...
I dragged my tired and aching back out for a run today.. As I was running along the canal, there was a guy that was running slightly ahead of me. I realised that if I maintained my pace, I could keep up running behind him. In a way, that motivated me to maintain my pace and continue running.. Before I knew it, I ran past 2 bridges that would have normally tempted me to take a break... It felt like an invisible support system that was pushing me to run faster and further..
Life will probably be so much easier with someone or something supporting you.. It could someone close to you or like in this case, a random stranger..
Life will probably be so much easier with someone or something supporting you.. It could someone close to you or like in this case, a random stranger..
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Where am i truly me?
I stood at the junction, waiting for the green man to cross the road and pondering. Deeply.
Where am I truly me?
W: Bitch at work, split personality, bad ass that nags at every minute detail
H: Mediator, peace-maker
H: DIL
In the car? At the library? At the airport?
Is that where I am really me?
Where am I truly me?
W: Bitch at work, split personality, bad ass that nags at every minute detail
H: Mediator, peace-maker
H: DIL
In the car? At the library? At the airport?
Is that where I am really me?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Early release....
Today i had early release... The first one in a long long time.. I actually reached home before 4pm. Totally amazing. I even had time to go for a swim before having dinner.
I submitted the form today.. The look on her face when she saw the magical "early release" on the form was priceless. I had looked forward to this day since last year. I expected myself to have a vast variety of feelings when submitting. However, I did not feel anything at all. Maybe my senses are numbed.
Someone commented that my desire to leave wasn't huge considering I took so long to complete my resume.
Maybe, maybe not. Maybe it's just the lack of confidence in what I wrote and needing the affirmation of others.
The countdown to a new chapter begins.. Wish me luck..
I submitted the form today.. The look on her face when she saw the magical "early release" on the form was priceless. I had looked forward to this day since last year. I expected myself to have a vast variety of feelings when submitting. However, I did not feel anything at all. Maybe my senses are numbed.
Someone commented that my desire to leave wasn't huge considering I took so long to complete my resume.
Maybe, maybe not. Maybe it's just the lack of confidence in what I wrote and needing the affirmation of others.
The countdown to a new chapter begins.. Wish me luck..
Sunday, March 22, 2009
In the midst of company, I felt most alone.
While slicing strawberries, her mum sidled up to me and requested that i speak to her about her "frowned-upon" and "god-disapproving" relationship. How am I to do that when I see this happy aura around her? Am I even in an appropriate position to do so? I pondered between telling her about the conversation even though I had been told by her mummy not to say. Caught in a dilemma, I decided to just keep quiet. I figured that there was enough negative reactions to the relationship without me contributing to it.
The conversation led me to think about this point :
Who defined the "approved" types of relationships? Why are same-gender relationships frowned upon? Similarly, why does it seem that divorces are taboo?
Don't get me wrong, I am neither for or against such things. I just feel that if it is what the individual wants, then society should back off and keep their comments to themselves. A relationship is between 2 individuals, yet it is often affected by the views of the people around.
While slicing strawberries, her mum sidled up to me and requested that i speak to her about her "frowned-upon" and "god-disapproving" relationship. How am I to do that when I see this happy aura around her? Am I even in an appropriate position to do so? I pondered between telling her about the conversation even though I had been told by her mummy not to say. Caught in a dilemma, I decided to just keep quiet. I figured that there was enough negative reactions to the relationship without me contributing to it.
The conversation led me to think about this point :
Who defined the "approved" types of relationships? Why are same-gender relationships frowned upon? Similarly, why does it seem that divorces are taboo?
Don't get me wrong, I am neither for or against such things. I just feel that if it is what the individual wants, then society should back off and keep their comments to themselves. A relationship is between 2 individuals, yet it is often affected by the views of the people around.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Will we eventually lose ourselves?
I watched Marley and Me with Mr H yesterday.. We had originally wanted to watch Valkyrie but were unable to make it for the available showtimes. So we settled for Marley and Me.
The dog was really cute and extremely similar to TKB as both dogs were affected by thunderstorms. Marley howls at thunderstorms while TKB hides under the table.
As the show progressed, the family also grew in size with the addition of 3 babies. It felt like the feelings of the character were reflecting and representing my own hesitations and fears. The female character had to give up her job. There was resentment. Resentment arising from having to sacrifice her job for the family. Resentment from him having to stay with a certain job for the stability of the family. Unhappiness from the inability to do the things they really desire.
How and will we lose ourselves in the process of creating a family? Is that really what everyone wants? Or are we just following the norms of the society? Will resentment eventually break down the relationship?
Yet, there was a point in the movie where a subtle but so important message was said, "I made my decisions and i will stand by them. Together we will get through things."
The dog was really cute and extremely similar to TKB as both dogs were affected by thunderstorms. Marley howls at thunderstorms while TKB hides under the table.
As the show progressed, the family also grew in size with the addition of 3 babies. It felt like the feelings of the character were reflecting and representing my own hesitations and fears. The female character had to give up her job. There was resentment. Resentment arising from having to sacrifice her job for the family. Resentment from him having to stay with a certain job for the stability of the family. Unhappiness from the inability to do the things they really desire.
How and will we lose ourselves in the process of creating a family? Is that really what everyone wants? Or are we just following the norms of the society? Will resentment eventually break down the relationship?
Yet, there was a point in the movie where a subtle but so important message was said, "I made my decisions and i will stand by them. Together we will get through things."
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