Is it natural to always wish for things? Is there a reason why sometimes you may not have what others have? Or are we too busy comparing that we are unaware that the things that we are actively seeking are just in front of us and that all we have to do is use the material between our ears to stretch our hands and reach for them?
Will the answers to the questions come naturally or do we have to look for enlightenment ourselves? Why are some brimming with self-confidence and others hiding and admiring the confident ones from afar? When and how will those hiding be able to step out from the dark and discover the person they never knew?
How are we supposed to be at peace with ourselves? Do you sometimes feel like when compared to others, you have nothing? It can be no intelligence, no beauty, no money, no happiness, no life satisfaction, no self-esteem and most importantly no sense of your purpose, duty or responsibility in life...
Do most of these things get passed down from your family or are they acquired within one's lifetime? Is it possible for someone to lay dying and still not know the answers to the above questions?
Or is it like those chinese period dramas always say, " Die without regrets."
..... Hmmmmm....
Friday, October 27, 2006
I am back!
It's only been about 3 hours since i reached singapore after a 10 hour plus flight from Istanbul but i am already wishing that it was still last week when i was typing the previous post and waiting to get ready for the flight to Turkey.... I guess it 's my 'Holiday withdrawal symptoms' at work again.. The flight back was shorter than the flight there and more bearable.. I guess it was also because the flight attendants were friendlier on the return flight. On the flight to Istanbul, i think all the passengers owed money to the flight attendants.. Their faces were BLACK!! and they were ULTRA unfriendly...Although i must say that the leg space was the most i have experienced so far, but the flight was ruined by the Very very thin cushions of the seats, the unfriendly flight attendants... After the flight, most of us suffered from aching necks, legs and butts...Haha...
Finally reached Istanbul around 6 am, was met by a quite cute looking guide.. haha.. Proceeded to visit our first site.. I think Turkey is very intriguing... Majority of the population is Muslim but yet there's a visible european influence in the achitecture and the streets... Went to visit Blue Mosque.. Very exciting.. 1st time in a mosque.. and probably will be the only time.. Quite an interesting experience.. took lots of photos... After that went for our first lunch in Turkey.. Didn't really know what to expect..
This was the first day's lunch.. and i still think it was one of the best meals we had in Turkey..The chicken pieces on the plate were removed by HAND from the hot skewer by the cook!! Ouch! I feel pain for his hands...After that we went to visit St Sophia, a church that was converted to a mosque... Interesting right? But it was a pity that there was a metal structure inside it that was built to support and prevent the dome from collapsing as the structure spoilt the entire view...
I shall not go too much into detail about the entire itinery.. I went hot air ballooning though!!.. Very fun! Cooling and hot at the same time.. Haha... It was very hot when the pilot pressed the button for more fire and cooling when we went higher.. It was very overwhelming when we first reached the spot for the 'take-off'. The balloon was huge.. Went for turkish bath too.. though it was quite a disappointing experience... The people didn't really put too much effort into it. We all felt like we just went through a production line. Some were lucky and had a thorough scrub and massage but others were not that lucky.
But i think the most enjoyable was the Bosphorous cruise... It's a strange feeling to be neither here nor there. You have asia on one side and europe on the other but yet when you are on the cruise, you are unsure which side you belong to. But but but... the houses on both side of the Bosphorous were AMAZING!! Amazingly huge too!..Most had their own private pool. Some were the equivalent of 2 bungalows added together in singapore.. Our guide said the minimum that one had to pay to buy a house there was 5-6 million US Dollars!!! Minimum eh!
A few interesting things were having lunch in an underground restaurant, smoking the water pipe, visting the ancient cities, making voice memos on my cameras so that I would not forget what did the different stones represent and trying their local food, although HS did suffer as most of their food came with cheese. Most of us were not used to the food so we depended on bread to fill our tummies..Bread in the morning, afternoon and evening.. Think the entire group will be very afraid to see bread these few days.. Haha
There were very interesting people in my group.. There was a lady that always had an umbrella opened even when it was not sunny or raining.. We had people that came from Philippines and Indonesia to join the tour...
Anway i have to go bathe soon.. See ya all soon...
Finally reached Istanbul around 6 am, was met by a quite cute looking guide.. haha.. Proceeded to visit our first site.. I think Turkey is very intriguing... Majority of the population is Muslim but yet there's a visible european influence in the achitecture and the streets... Went to visit Blue Mosque.. Very exciting.. 1st time in a mosque.. and probably will be the only time.. Quite an interesting experience.. took lots of photos... After that went for our first lunch in Turkey.. Didn't really know what to expect..
This was the first day's lunch.. and i still think it was one of the best meals we had in Turkey..The chicken pieces on the plate were removed by HAND from the hot skewer by the cook!! Ouch! I feel pain for his hands...After that we went to visit St Sophia, a church that was converted to a mosque... Interesting right? But it was a pity that there was a metal structure inside it that was built to support and prevent the dome from collapsing as the structure spoilt the entire view...
I shall not go too much into detail about the entire itinery.. I went hot air ballooning though!!.. Very fun! Cooling and hot at the same time.. Haha... It was very hot when the pilot pressed the button for more fire and cooling when we went higher.. It was very overwhelming when we first reached the spot for the 'take-off'. The balloon was huge.. Went for turkish bath too.. though it was quite a disappointing experience... The people didn't really put too much effort into it. We all felt like we just went through a production line. Some were lucky and had a thorough scrub and massage but others were not that lucky.
But i think the most enjoyable was the Bosphorous cruise... It's a strange feeling to be neither here nor there. You have asia on one side and europe on the other but yet when you are on the cruise, you are unsure which side you belong to. But but but... the houses on both side of the Bosphorous were AMAZING!! Amazingly huge too!..Most had their own private pool. Some were the equivalent of 2 bungalows added together in singapore.. Our guide said the minimum that one had to pay to buy a house there was 5-6 million US Dollars!!! Minimum eh!
A few interesting things were having lunch in an underground restaurant, smoking the water pipe, visting the ancient cities, making voice memos on my cameras so that I would not forget what did the different stones represent and trying their local food, although HS did suffer as most of their food came with cheese. Most of us were not used to the food so we depended on bread to fill our tummies..Bread in the morning, afternoon and evening.. Think the entire group will be very afraid to see bread these few days.. Haha
There were very interesting people in my group.. There was a lady that always had an umbrella opened even when it was not sunny or raining.. We had people that came from Philippines and Indonesia to join the tour...
Anway i have to go bathe soon.. See ya all soon...
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Holidays lo!
I will be going to the airport for my trip to Turkey in less than 12 hours time.. Haha.. Excited.. Glad to get away from the nonsense that me, Jon and Hafiz are facing at work. Everyone is telling me that the tea available there is good.. (Vincent: Yes, that includes you too!). Ok ok.. I shall try to bring some back k?
Feel a bit bad that I will be leaving Jon and Hafiz to cope with them. I won't be around to take them for test. What a waste! Would like to see their faces when they FINALLY realized that they are not up to the standard that they think they are. Haiz... Praying that they do buck up within these few days before the actual test arrives. Feeling unappreciated though..
I actually fear when I am currently am now.. There's a very thick air of suspicion, tension and unhappiness... It's like the haze. Majorly affecting our lives but at the same time,we are helpless to clear it.. We just have to wait for it to clear up on its own and hopefully after the haze comes warm and sunny days..(Fingers and toes crossed)
Do you have someone that you really admire that you wished you were like him/her? I do. I would be happy if i were even 10% like her.. Haha...Sounds insane ah? But this person is like an angel.. she can do no wrong. If you need her, she's there. Passionate about life and the things that are important to her in life... Never saying negative things about people unless they really push her limit, which by the way is quite difficult to do. Yup, I am very grateful that this angel plays a part in my life and very honoured that she considers me as one of her MANY friends..
To this angel, you may or may not know that i am referring to you but just want to THANK YOU for sticking by me for so long and for simply being there. *HUGZ*
So many choices that inspire me but which is the one that i really like? Will i be happy with the choice that i finally make? Why can't i think of something that is truly what i want? Don't all girls dream of theirs from young? Where's my dream?.... The hunt for the perfect choice continues..
Take cares all!!! I shall update when i return from Turkey...
Feel a bit bad that I will be leaving Jon and Hafiz to cope with them. I won't be around to take them for test. What a waste! Would like to see their faces when they FINALLY realized that they are not up to the standard that they think they are. Haiz... Praying that they do buck up within these few days before the actual test arrives. Feeling unappreciated though..
I actually fear when I am currently am now.. There's a very thick air of suspicion, tension and unhappiness... It's like the haze. Majorly affecting our lives but at the same time,we are helpless to clear it.. We just have to wait for it to clear up on its own and hopefully after the haze comes warm and sunny days..(Fingers and toes crossed)
Do you have someone that you really admire that you wished you were like him/her? I do. I would be happy if i were even 10% like her.. Haha...Sounds insane ah? But this person is like an angel.. she can do no wrong. If you need her, she's there. Passionate about life and the things that are important to her in life... Never saying negative things about people unless they really push her limit, which by the way is quite difficult to do. Yup, I am very grateful that this angel plays a part in my life and very honoured that she considers me as one of her MANY friends..
To this angel, you may or may not know that i am referring to you but just want to THANK YOU for sticking by me for so long and for simply being there. *HUGZ*
So many choices that inspire me but which is the one that i really like? Will i be happy with the choice that i finally make? Why can't i think of something that is truly what i want? Don't all girls dream of theirs from young? Where's my dream?.... The hunt for the perfect choice continues..
Take cares all!!! I shall update when i return from Turkey...
Sunday, October 15, 2006
I survived!
Haha.. i survived today's session of yoga! Happy!!! Didn't feel giddy... i think that's good enough for me... I am not a weakling! Yeah!! Today's teacher was a little easier to understand... Looking forward to my next session which will be next next week.. I am going to Turkey this wednesday. Holidays are such fun! Ottie... All the way k... Remember to go for lessons throughout the week.. haha.. must make full use of your weekly pass.
Weird thoughts filled my mind today. If you had to listen to conflicting opinions coming from your sibling and your future spouse, will the 'Blood is thicker than water' phrase be a factor in deciding who's opinion to listen to? Or will you just form your own opinion? Is it natural for your future spouse to feel upset, a wee bit jealous or self-conscious that she/he may be inferior compared to your siblings? Will you feel a bit uncomfortable if you see bosses assigning work or confiding in people around you and not you? Or will you feel very happy coz there are less things for you to do? Just wondering, very curious..
What to do if you felt that you were not up to standards compared to everyone else? That you are always sub-standard compared to the rest of the people around you... I know there's a saying, " One mountain has another one higher or lower than it". Is it possible for a person to always be the lowest mountain ever?
What is happiness? When is true satisfaction and sense of achievement obtained?
Do you believe in things that claim to improve your life? Eg, Luck, Love or career charms? Haha... I recently bought one of those voodoo dolls sold at Mini Toons that are supposed to improve your life. I guess I am slipping back into my fantasy life again, either that or i am just grabbing at any straw or hay that i hope will improve the situation. I bought a career charm for HIM... Hope it helps in his next career move.
To my special HIM: I know that you are frustrated with the place you are in now. I know you feel cheated. I can understand how you feel..Like you are trapped in a solitary room and you have no choice but to wait till the time is right and the key will magically appear to free you from your misery. I guess we have no choice but to make the best of our solitary room.. To improve ourselves, to prepare ourselves for the time when we can leave the solitary room. Try to make the best of the room, look forward and I know that you will be able to make it in your next move! I am behind you k?
2 more days to holiday! Yeah! Going for dress fitting when i get back, can't wait for that.. The anticipation is killing me... Haha.. More preparation work awaits us when we get back.. Turkey! Here i come!...
Weird thoughts filled my mind today. If you had to listen to conflicting opinions coming from your sibling and your future spouse, will the 'Blood is thicker than water' phrase be a factor in deciding who's opinion to listen to? Or will you just form your own opinion? Is it natural for your future spouse to feel upset, a wee bit jealous or self-conscious that she/he may be inferior compared to your siblings? Will you feel a bit uncomfortable if you see bosses assigning work or confiding in people around you and not you? Or will you feel very happy coz there are less things for you to do? Just wondering, very curious..
What to do if you felt that you were not up to standards compared to everyone else? That you are always sub-standard compared to the rest of the people around you... I know there's a saying, " One mountain has another one higher or lower than it". Is it possible for a person to always be the lowest mountain ever?
What is happiness? When is true satisfaction and sense of achievement obtained?
Do you believe in things that claim to improve your life? Eg, Luck, Love or career charms? Haha... I recently bought one of those voodoo dolls sold at Mini Toons that are supposed to improve your life. I guess I am slipping back into my fantasy life again, either that or i am just grabbing at any straw or hay that i hope will improve the situation. I bought a career charm for HIM... Hope it helps in his next career move.
To my special HIM: I know that you are frustrated with the place you are in now. I know you feel cheated. I can understand how you feel..Like you are trapped in a solitary room and you have no choice but to wait till the time is right and the key will magically appear to free you from your misery. I guess we have no choice but to make the best of our solitary room.. To improve ourselves, to prepare ourselves for the time when we can leave the solitary room. Try to make the best of the room, look forward and I know that you will be able to make it in your next move! I am behind you k?
2 more days to holiday! Yeah! Going for dress fitting when i get back, can't wait for that.. The anticipation is killing me... Haha.. More preparation work awaits us when we get back.. Turkey! Here i come!...
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Hot & sweaty! But fun!
My body is aching all over! The hot yoga was a very interesting experience... It's like doing yoga in a sauna.. One of the teachers was doing together with us and she was AMAZING!!! My idol!! haha... I think i wasn't accustomed to the heat, after half an hour of exercise, i was feeling giddy and had to sit down to rest for a while. After 90mins of 'sweatiness', had a very refreshing bath and went with Ottie to eat Thai Express. I had the Tom Yum seafood soup with glass noodles.. Yummy! Reminded me of Bangkok and caused my 'Bangkok withdrawal symptoms' to return even though i just got back recently...Haiz..
I will be meeting Ottie tomorrow for more 'suffering'! My legs are crying for help but my head is telling me to endure so that i can lose more weight.. haha... Anyway in case i forget..Jia you!!! for your tuesday physical test! I am praying hard for you to get through it so that you can get your dream job, crossing all my fingers and toes for you... Jia you! Jia you!
I discovered 2 new things today but it would be rude or unethical to reveal them as i think the people involved wouldn't want too many people to know.. I guess all the clues were there and all i had to do was piece them together. Maybe that explains why i wasn't very surprised when i heard the news.
Just reached home after playing Counterstrike with HS and his friend.. My skills are so rusty after not playing for such a long time.. Had the highest death rate.. But it was so much fun and the roasted chicken rice at Katong Shopping Centre is still as yummy as ever. (Must go try!)..
My old thoughts came back to haunt me today again. Wondering when will i be able to discover that 'something' that i am good at. Still as lost as ever. Hoping for the light bulb to pop up above my head anytime.. Haha... Silly me right? Am i asking for too much? Or am i just very difficult to satisfy? What's your definition of success? Happiness in what you do everyday or the amount of money you earn?
I have not found my own definition of success, I don't even know whether i should consider myself successful or just going along with the flow...Maybe with the yoga that i am trying to pick up,i will be able to find peace with myself ... Shall go to s leep now before Ottie finds herself meeting a panda bear tomorrow for yoga...
Goodnight dear all!!! Sweet Dreams!!
I will be meeting Ottie tomorrow for more 'suffering'! My legs are crying for help but my head is telling me to endure so that i can lose more weight.. haha... Anyway in case i forget..Jia you!!! for your tuesday physical test! I am praying hard for you to get through it so that you can get your dream job, crossing all my fingers and toes for you... Jia you! Jia you!
I discovered 2 new things today but it would be rude or unethical to reveal them as i think the people involved wouldn't want too many people to know.. I guess all the clues were there and all i had to do was piece them together. Maybe that explains why i wasn't very surprised when i heard the news.
Just reached home after playing Counterstrike with HS and his friend.. My skills are so rusty after not playing for such a long time.. Had the highest death rate.. But it was so much fun and the roasted chicken rice at Katong Shopping Centre is still as yummy as ever. (Must go try!)..
My old thoughts came back to haunt me today again. Wondering when will i be able to discover that 'something' that i am good at. Still as lost as ever. Hoping for the light bulb to pop up above my head anytime.. Haha... Silly me right? Am i asking for too much? Or am i just very difficult to satisfy? What's your definition of success? Happiness in what you do everyday or the amount of money you earn?
I have not found my own definition of success, I don't even know whether i should consider myself successful or just going along with the flow...Maybe with the yoga that i am trying to pick up,i will be able to find peace with myself ... Shall go to s leep now before Ottie finds herself meeting a panda bear tomorrow for yoga...
Goodnight dear all!!! Sweet Dreams!!
Friday, October 13, 2006
Brand new experience
This feels weird, writing my thoughts for others to see.... yet at the same time it feels exciting..Feels like i am joining the world and not keeping to myself or living in my mountain cave...Think my blog will always be very short and sweet, not very good at writing or speaking..Haha, probably the only time that my blogs will be very long are when i need to vent my frustrations, share my happiness or when i am thinking out loud... Or as Vincent puts it:" thinking really LOUD"... haha
You may ask me why the sudden interest in blogging? I am afraid i can't answer that. I guess i just want to find out how bloggers feel when they are typing their thoughts to be posted on their personal blog.
Why " I wish upon a little star"?... I am probably trying to live in my fantasy world where if you wished upon a little star or prayed really hard, you might get what you prayed for.... When i am confused, i try to imagine myself in fairy tales, no problems, no worries..... You may say i am trying to escape from reality... It's probably my way of detaching myself from my thoughts, be it negative or positive and hopefully, having a bit of "Me time" where i can be selfish and just think of ," Me, Myself and I"
This blog will probably be a continuation of my diary which i started and ended in secondary school... haha... Anyway just want to thank the people that have played a part in my life, no matter how big or small your influence has been on my life, I thank YOU!.... I am not good at expressing my gratitude, hopefully this expression of thanks is not delayed....
Anyway shall go to sleep soon... Going to meet Nana and Ottie to check out Bikram( Hot) yoga tomorrow at Raffles City... Can't wait... Haha... Probably end up sweating like pigs (The room is 40 degrees!)... So unglam!...Haha.. but should be loads of fun....
Goodnight to all! Hope i didn't confuse you with whatever i am writing....
You may ask me why the sudden interest in blogging? I am afraid i can't answer that. I guess i just want to find out how bloggers feel when they are typing their thoughts to be posted on their personal blog.
Why " I wish upon a little star"?... I am probably trying to live in my fantasy world where if you wished upon a little star or prayed really hard, you might get what you prayed for.... When i am confused, i try to imagine myself in fairy tales, no problems, no worries..... You may say i am trying to escape from reality... It's probably my way of detaching myself from my thoughts, be it negative or positive and hopefully, having a bit of "Me time" where i can be selfish and just think of ," Me, Myself and I"
This blog will probably be a continuation of my diary which i started and ended in secondary school... haha... Anyway just want to thank the people that have played a part in my life, no matter how big or small your influence has been on my life, I thank YOU!.... I am not good at expressing my gratitude, hopefully this expression of thanks is not delayed....
Anyway shall go to sleep soon... Going to meet Nana and Ottie to check out Bikram( Hot) yoga tomorrow at Raffles City... Can't wait... Haha... Probably end up sweating like pigs (The room is 40 degrees!)... So unglam!...Haha.. but should be loads of fun....
Goodnight to all! Hope i didn't confuse you with whatever i am writing....
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