Solitude

Solitude is such a weird thing.

It makes you experience a variety of feelings all at the same time. Depending on your own mood, you can feel happy that you are finally on your own to have some peace. Yet, it can also make you feel alone and miserable that you have no one to accompany you. Solitude allows you to reflect on the surroundings you are in, try to prioritise your goals and most importantly it allows you to dream. Haha...

Today was only 24hrs of solitude but yet i was already feeling miserable about having to walk around alone. So what will happen if its months?

As i was walking around just now, i was reminded of a theory that people tend to buy more when on their own. Myabe this is true... :P

Same Same... Maybe even worse

I thought the initial feelings were the same as when i first moved to the new meadows and that they would subside after a few months.

I was wrong.

These feelings of despair and low morale seems set to stay. I dread waking up to go to work and look forward only to getting off work. I am involved in quite a big event this year and that is probably the only thing that is keeping me going. I just do not want to fail in doing that job right. I realised that one of my pet peeves is picking up the pieces. I hate having to take over stuff from the middle. Allowing me to start from the beginning of a project allows me to set the goals that i want for it and work to achieve it.

However, when i have to take over from someone and the surrounding spectators seem to have expectations that increases everytime they see you only serves to create more unhappiness.

I told some people this. This pile of shit that i have to clear is way larger than the previous pile. The most important factor? I had people that were willing to help me clear the previous pile. Here? I would thank the heavens if these people do not contribute to the already massive pile.

1 year and 4months to go... Endure....